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April 23rd, 2015 The Most Refreshing Feeling

April 23rd, 2015 The Most Refreshing Feeling

Yesterday and today have been very special days to me. Yesterday's one year weigh-in and the tremendous outpouring of support and congratulations, was a tremendous blessing. I'm blessed. I'm grateful. And I honestly feel like I can say, without any doubt, without any fine print: I've given it my best effort. 

The spiritual support and the support of an army of others along this road have made it very clear to me, we're never alone. Even during the self-isolating nature of relapse and regain, we're not alone. It can certainly feel like it, but truly, we're not. When we open our heart, mind and eyes and we fully realize this, it's the most refreshing feeling. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to make it after all. Yes, you are going to make it.

How refreshing is that feeling, realizing it's going to be okay and you're really going to make it? Below is the text of an email I sent Marty Lerner Ph.D. at the Milestones program in Florida. Marty is a world renowned expert on food addiction. This email was dated March 27th, 2014, three and a half weeks before starting this turnaround in earnest, three and a half weeks before feeling renewed and refreshed.

Marty,

I think I may need in-patient treatment.
How much is inpatient treatment at your facility?
I likely can't afford it, but I wanted to see what's available.

Sincerely,

Sean Anderson

That was an email from someone throwing up his hands and saying, I can't do this on my own, I need help.  It was the beginning of yet another surrender, this time in the most humble and powerful of ways. I guess the trick is to just keep surrendering until you lose the things preventing a full and complete experience, for me, pride and ego. 

Life Coach Gerri Helms has been an angel to me. Gerri has twenty-one years of maintenance and twenty-one plus years of abstinence from sugar. That, is successful recovery. In all of her years, she's worked with many people through their struggles and successes along this road. She knew exactly what was happening even when I thought I was doing a fantastic job of pretending it was all okay, she knew better. And she wouldn't give up on me. She's a dear friend.
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Today marks 365 days of continuous tracking on MyFitnessPal. If you're on MFP, feel free to "friend" me, my username is: SeanAAnderson My food diary is public. If you ever see a meal tweet and you're curious about the particulars, you can find it in the diary.
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This is my happy/relieved/refreshed look. I'm so incredibly happy things have unfolded this way. Isn't it interesting how what is once perceived as one of the worst things, turns out to be a critically important element contributing to the development of the best things? 

It was a very busy day today. I haven't had a rest day from exercise in a week, so making today a rest day after seven days straight, was perfect. I didn't fully commit to it being a rest day until this evening. I was relaxing with a great cup of coffee and I thought, I really don't want to put my shoes on again. So I didn't.

One more thing before I turn out the lights and go to sleep. As reflective as the last two day's posts have been, this isn't necessarily a celebration, it's more of an acknowledgment--an opportunity to pause and be grateful, give thanks and continue on in the same way that brought me this far.

My Tweets Today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

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